It went quite well, as far as PCC meetings go. The rector mentioned in passing that one of his neighbours was about to cut down some over grown Christmas trees and was happy to donate them to his three churches if they would like them. We all nodded in unison. The weeks flew by and it was the day of our Carol Service.
The church warden popped down to the church a couple of hours before the service was to begin, just to check that the heating had come on properly and that everything was as it should be. Aw no! A huge Norwegian Spruce was lying prostrate, sprawled out in the aisle, blocking all access to the front of the church. The branches flopped across the pews on either side so nobody could sit down either. Racing outside to find a container, she thankfully discovered a biggish blue plastic bucket by the tap under the yew tree. No time to lose, she filled it with some liftable stones. Picking her way, over the prickly branches, with panic beginning to rise like high tide, she tugged and she pulled, pushed and grunted. She was only five feet three and this monster had to be all of eight feet. Supreme effort and dripping in perspiration, she managed to get the thing to as near the lecturn as she could. Bucket filled and tree at last upright even if it was leaning drunkenly against the north wall.
At this point, the door creaked and a lady walked in. She said that she lived a distance away and had come as she did every year to visit her husband's grave. Noticing the lights on, she ventured into the church. They chatted for a little while as she shared her life story. After she left, the churchwarden zipped home to take the decorations off her own tree and attempt to cover some of the nakedness of the inebriated giant.
Breathless, churchwarden finished and hoovered up minutes before the first of the congregation arrived. Goodness knows what she looked like. The service progressed. The last lesson read and the last carol sung. The lady sitting in the seat behind, tapped me on the shoulder. She said how shocked and disgusted she was to see almost nothing on the Christmas Tree. Considering this thing, (like I said) was towering eight feet and our own tree, less than three, it didn't really come as a big surprise. So I just nodded in agreement.